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Jun. 26th, 2011 04:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
whoiwasmeant2beTobias had sat perched on the couch throughout the night. He'd dozed fitfully, but had been waiting for Rachel to come out of her room.
She didn't.
Then she'd gotten up in the morning and gone about her usual routine without speaking to him. Barely looking at him.
He, of course, had watched her like... well, like a hawk. And he'd been tense because he could tell that she hadn't gotten much sleep.
And she'd left without a word.
Which had led to Tobias spending hours just perched on the couch, unable to leave since she'd closed the door behind her. And hadn't opened the door to the balcony like she usually did. Tobias decided to wait for her to come back, but the hours stretched on and on.
The hawk grew restless. Hungry. He needed to get out and hunt. He fought that need for as long as he could, but... he couldn't do it forever. He needed to leave, and the doors were closed. That meant...
Tobias shifted human. As soon as he finished some of that need went away, some of that restlessness, but it was replaced with the... oddness of not having the hawk in his head anymore. Tobias took a deep breath and moved to open the door to the balcony.
She didn't.
Then she'd gotten up in the morning and gone about her usual routine without speaking to him. Barely looking at him.
He, of course, had watched her like... well, like a hawk. And he'd been tense because he could tell that she hadn't gotten much sleep.
And she'd left without a word.
Which had led to Tobias spending hours just perched on the couch, unable to leave since she'd closed the door behind her. And hadn't opened the door to the balcony like she usually did. Tobias decided to wait for her to come back, but the hours stretched on and on.
The hawk grew restless. Hungry. He needed to get out and hunt. He fought that need for as long as he could, but... he couldn't do it forever. He needed to leave, and the doors were closed. That meant...
Tobias shifted human. As soon as he finished some of that need went away, some of that restlessness, but it was replaced with the... oddness of not having the hawk in his head anymore. Tobias took a deep breath and moved to open the door to the balcony.
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Date: 2011-06-26 08:50 pm (UTC)He did it.
He morphed.
Not because she asked him to or because he wanted to.
His hand is on the balcony door and it's late in the morning, after he should have gone hunting if she'd opened the door for him.
He's human and he did it out of necessity only.
Only.
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Date: 2011-06-26 08:54 pm (UTC)And he is. Trying not to make any sudden movements. Careful not to do anything to attract attention.
Like prey in the presence of a predator.
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Date: 2011-06-26 08:57 pm (UTC)Like he was caught doing something horrible. Something he didn't want her to see.
Maybe he was. Maybe he does.
Rachel isn't moving.
Waiting to see what he'll do.
Giving him a chance to prove all her fears wrong.
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Date: 2011-06-26 09:07 pm (UTC)And for the same reason he can't just demorph, either. It would be like running away.
And he can't just stand here, hand on the door, forever, either.
So, dropping his head to look down at his feet, Tobias slowly turns around. He can't bring himself to look at Rachel. Not yet.
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Date: 2011-06-26 09:31 pm (UTC)There should be a cliche here.
Her heart should be pounding. Her blood should be rushing. Her breath should be coming hard.
He's looking at his feet like he's ashamed to be caught and god, he is, isn't he? That's the point.
He's ashamed of this.
She doesn't know how to fix it for him.
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Date: 2011-06-26 09:42 pm (UTC)But eventually Tobias looks up, somehow finding the courage to search her eyes. Looking for... he doesn't know what. Something.
Something to tell him what she's thinking.
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Date: 2011-06-26 11:00 pm (UTC)Thinking that...
Her expression is carefully blank, but there's sadness in her eyes.
"What..."
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Date: 2011-06-26 11:04 pm (UTC)He doesn't answer.
Sadness. But... nothing else. No anger. No pain. No disappointment. No softness. No worry.
No forgiveness.
It's suddenly hard to breathe around the lump in his throat.
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Date: 2011-06-26 11:10 pm (UTC)He looks at her with gentle human eyes that have forgotten how to convey emotion. And it's no clearer to her what he's thinking than if he were a hawk still.
--no. That's wrong. She'd be able to read the hawk better.
"I'll open it."
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Date: 2011-06-26 11:19 pm (UTC)When he speaks, his voice is even more stressed and disused-sounding than usual.
"Should," he pauses, wincing. "Should I go?"
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Date: 2011-06-26 11:21 pm (UTC)"Are you hungry?"
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Date: 2011-06-26 11:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-26 11:33 pm (UTC)Oh.
...oh.
<I DON'T KNOW!>
Now there is pain. Now there is disappointment. Now there is worry.
Rachel steps inside and closes the door behind her gently. But she can only take two hesitant steps before she has to stop and look at him again, unsure and trying not to show it. Trying to be strong, as strong as he needs her to be.
"Tobias... I want to be with you. Forever."
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Date: 2011-06-26 11:45 pm (UTC)"You left once. And then after I found you again... you disappeared."
Halfway through that his eyes fall, unable to watch her face as he says the words.
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Date: 2011-06-26 11:55 pm (UTC)It's not often that she's able to work over it. But with Tobias in front of her, looking at her like that... even with the words exactly the same as they were last night, the way they're said changes everything.
The fact that they're said, for one.
"I saved you. And I showed up here, I lost you. And this last time... I came back. I found my way back."
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Date: 2011-06-27 12:13 am (UTC)"I don't want to lose you again," he whispers.
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Date: 2011-06-27 12:17 am (UTC)Soft, hesitant. Another step forward taken.
"Because I don't want to lose you."
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Date: 2011-06-27 12:36 am (UTC)But for just a moment something like hope flickers through his eyes.
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Date: 2011-06-27 12:53 am (UTC)She takes another, one step closer to him. A smile tugs at her lips, if not exactly a happy one.
"...remember that school dance? The last one, like a year ago."
Before the teacher recognized him. Before the job that followed, before he was stolen away. Before Taylor.
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Date: 2011-06-27 01:19 am (UTC)"Yes."
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Date: 2011-06-27 01:22 am (UTC)"I wasn't... I wasn't trying anything."
The time limit got close, but not that close.
"It was just... nice."
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Date: 2011-06-27 01:36 am (UTC)"It was... simpler."
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Date: 2011-06-27 01:42 am (UTC)She actually had to say it, and he took the information as if it was new. Something comforting.
Like he'd believed for even a moment that...
Rachel's smile widens, too. Too wide, perhaps, but there. Real.
"You're not as much of a hawk as you think you are. It's not a bad thing."
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Date: 2011-06-27 01:56 am (UTC)"Maybe... maybe it's not."
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Date: 2011-06-27 01:58 am (UTC)They're not that far apart anymore.
"I'm not going to ask you to change forever. Okay? You don't have to do that."
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Date: 2011-06-27 02:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-27 02:24 am (UTC)Does he? Really?
Rachel's smile doesn't reach her eyes, but she steps forward, too.
"Just... here, in Milliways... we can..."
Hold hands. See a movie. Eat out.
Be together.
Be normal.
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Date: 2011-06-27 02:28 am (UTC)"I think... I might like that."
To have a second chance.
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Date: 2011-06-27 02:35 am (UTC)"Really?"
It changes her entire expression, that willingness on his part.
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Date: 2011-06-27 02:46 am (UTC)"I love you, too, you know," he said softly, face flushing.
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Date: 2011-06-27 02:49 am (UTC)She mirrors him, color in her cheeks.
This time, her smile reaches her eyes.
"I do. I know."
Her hand in his, a hold he offered.
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Date: 2011-06-27 02:56 am (UTC)His gaze slips upward, smiling as he studies her face. Drinks it in.
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Date: 2011-06-27 03:03 am (UTC)She smiles back, looking back at him. Talons and gold eyes and feathers - gone. Just a boy, a little shorter than she is. Floppy blonde hair and soft human eyes.
And a smile.
Her fingers curl around his, tentative and smiling right back. Feeling, abruptly, so very young.
Nervous.
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Date: 2011-06-27 03:11 am (UTC)Partly because he likes the feeling it gives him in the pit of his stomach.
And partly because he doesn't really know what else to do.
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Date: 2011-06-27 03:13 am (UTC)She feels like... they should...
Everything should be easier without panic and fear and adrenaline surrounding them. Rachel can count the number of times they've kissed on one hand, with fingers to spare.
She can also feel her face heat with a blush at the idea as she smiles at him.
"Do you want to... go for a walk?"
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Date: 2011-06-27 03:18 am (UTC)"I'd like that."